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Four Eyes

A Memoir of a Millennial Caregiver

Alisha Bashaw

Eight months into graduate school in a new city, Alisha’s mom suffered a heart attack on her dad’s 60th birthday, rerouting her entire life and demanding that she catapult into full adulthood.

Four Eyes: A Memoir of a Millennial Caregiver chronicles the story of Alisha’s struggle to find meaning in the seemingly pointless repeated defeats of her parents’ chronic illnesses that orphaned her in her early 30s. Assuming a care-giving role for her parents in addition to pursuing her own developing life path, Alisha struggles through old maps of thinking where guilt and shame reigned until others were pleased, and she was utterly exhausted. Can she find balance between self-sacrifice and individuation, or will she watch herself slowly fade away in the process?

Her witty journey to make sense of it all takes her straight into battle with the crippling grief and powerful darkness that threaten to take over entirely. And to win, she must let go of all she once knew and follow the unknown into the world of organ donation, deep resiliency, and answer-less faith. Sometimes the answer is “I don’t know.” Sometimes the pain cannot be explained. And sometimes, the certainty of mystery is all you are given.

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About the Author

Alisha Bashaw is a writer, musical theater enthusiast, and an equine and mental health therapist. With a front row seat to her parents' declines and a battle between guilt and individuation of her own, Alisha sought meaning for herself and her parents through the healing world of organ donation. She sees life as a story, and couldn't get through hers without playing and singing music, hanging with her two beloved cats, Olive and Stinker (Pax), and reveling in the immense power of kindness.

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